Month: October 2026

Reflections on Aging

by Steve Harsh, posted in Aging to Sageing, Christian Discipleship, purpose

On the eve of my octogenarianhood my thoughts turn to old age. For those of you who read my piece a few weeks ago about hair loss due to chemotherapy here is the picture I promised of the end result of that process.

80 felt pretty darn old before I lost my hair, but there is no avoiding that reality now each time I look in the mirror. Even before my cancer diagnosis approaching this milestone birthday was naturally a time of reflection about the future and what my purpose might be in this season of my life. That question has taken on even more urgency now with this very visible reminder of my mortality reflecting off my shiny pate.

One of the most familiar biblical stories about elderhood is the surprise Abraham and later Sarah get when God tells them that their much longed for desire to have a son is going to be fulfillled and Medicare is going to pay the maternity bills:

“God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. I will bless her and also give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall give rise to nations; kings of peoples shall come from her.” Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself, “Can a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Can Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?”And Abraham said to God, “O that Ishmael might live in your sight!” God said, “No, but your wife Sarah shall bear you a son, and you shall name him Isaac.” (Genesis 17:15-19)

If I got that kind of news at 100, or even 80, I’m not sure how I would respond. I like little children in small doses, but I’m certainly not ready for the pitter patter of little feet 24/7.

What if the point of this old-age parenthood story is not biological but theological? What if the message here is that we are never too old or weak or busy to be of use to God’s purpose?

God is full of surprises. My life was upended on September 17 by one word, Lymphoma. I had/have a choice every day since – do I let that scary word define me, or do I ask myself what do I, with God’s help, figure out what my purpose is given this new reality?

That’s a work in progress that is easier some days than others. I just read a timely piece by Diana Butler Bass on this topic as it relates to All Hallows Eve, aka Halloween. In her book, “A Beautiful Year,” she reminisces about how her mother would ask Diana and her siblings every year “who do you want to be this year?” Before she made their Halloween costumes. She didn’t ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up, but this year, now?”

On this holiday when we play with and as ghosts and goblins and honor the saints who have gone before us, that’s a great question for Halloween, an 80th birthday, or any day: “Who do I/you want to be?”

Hair Loss and Strength

by Steve Harsh, posted in Aging to Sageing, Faith Development, Gratitude, hope, self-care, Wellness

Diagnosis. Last month – sudden and unexpected. Large B cell lymphoma. I have been in and out of denial the last 4 weeks or so, but denial came to screeching halt in the shower the other day when I realized my hair was already falling out. I almost cried sitting in the shower.

Diana had bought me this plaque even before the diagnosis came down. I had been struggling with fatigue for several weeks which was likely an early symptom of my cancer. But the plaque took on new significance when I got home from 10 days in the hospital.

As I pondered those words and my cancer journey a story from Judges about another guy who lost his hair came to my mind. Here’s the text about Samson and Delilah after he has lied to her three times about the source of his strength:

‘Then she said to him, ‘How can you say, “I love you”, when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me three times now and have not told me what makes your strength so great.’ Finally, after she had nagged him with her words day after day, and pestered him, he was tired to death. So he told her his whole secret, and said to her, ‘A razor has never come upon my head; for I have been a nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were shaved, then my strength would leave me; I would become weak, and be like anyone else.’

When Delilah realized that he had told her his whole secret, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, ‘This time come up, for he has told his whole secret to me.’ Then the lords of the Philistines came up to her, and brought the money in their hands. She let him fall asleep on her lap; and she called a man, and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. He began to weaken, and his strength left him. Then she said, ‘The Philistines are upon you, Samson!’ When he awoke from his sleep, he thought, ‘I will go out as at other times, and shake myself free.’ But he did not know that the LORD had left him. So the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes. They brought him down to Gaza and bound him with bronze shackles; and he ground at the mill in the prison. But the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.” (Judges 16:15-22)

Samson lost his strength when he lost his hair, but I am vowing to do the opposite. I don’t know how much hair I will lose or how I will look bald if it comes to that (I promise pictures), but with God’s help I am vowing to grow stronger with or without hair and as a friend of mine said, “Kick this crap to the curb!”

What I have learned already in spades is the need to walk humbly not only with the source of all healing, but with a whole village of people who have surrounded me with love and support – wonderful, patient, caring nurses, doctors, family members and friends who literally gave up days and nights to care for me after my hospital stay, some who drove hundreds of miles to be with me, FB friends praying for me, church members and friends who have volunteered to drive me to endless doctors’ appointments, and so many more.

And then there’s my long-suffering, hard-working wife, Diana. After 24.5 year of marriage I didn’t think I could love her any more, but I have never been so wrong. I simply have no words to describe the unconditional, undeserved love she has shown me in so many small and large ways. I am blessed beyond any thing I can ever deserve or repay.