Tag: I John 1:9

Hair Loss and Strength

by Steve Harsh, posted in Aging to Sageing, Faith Development, Gratitude, hope, self-care, Wellness

Diagnosis. Last month – sudden and unexpected. Large B cell lymphoma. I have been in and out of denial the last 4 weeks or so, but denial came to screeching halt in the shower the other day when I realized my hair was already falling out. I almost cried sitting in the shower.

Diana had bought me this plaque even before the diagnosis came down. I had been struggling with fatigue for several weeks which was likely an early symptom of my cancer. But the plaque took on new significance when I got home from 10 days in the hospital.

As I pondered those words and my cancer journey a story from Judges about another guy who lost his hair came to my mind. Here’s the text about Samson and Delilah after he has lied to her three times about the source of his strength:

‘Then she said to him, ‘How can you say, “I love you”, when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me three times now and have not told me what makes your strength so great.’ Finally, after she had nagged him with her words day after day, and pestered him, he was tired to death. So he told her his whole secret, and said to her, ‘A razor has never come upon my head; for I have been a nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If my head were shaved, then my strength would leave me; I would become weak, and be like anyone else.’

When Delilah realized that he had told her his whole secret, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, ‘This time come up, for he has told his whole secret to me.’ Then the lords of the Philistines came up to her, and brought the money in their hands. She let him fall asleep on her lap; and she called a man, and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. He began to weaken, and his strength left him. Then she said, ‘The Philistines are upon you, Samson!’ When he awoke from his sleep, he thought, ‘I will go out as at other times, and shake myself free.’ But he did not know that the LORD had left him. So the Philistines seized him and gouged out his eyes. They brought him down to Gaza and bound him with bronze shackles; and he ground at the mill in the prison. But the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaved.” (Judges 16:15-22)

Samson lost his strength when he lost his hair, but I am vowing to do the opposite. I don’t know how much hair I will lose or how I will look bald if it comes to that (I promise pictures), but with God’s help I am vowing to grow stronger with or without hair and as a friend of mine said, “Kick this crap to the curb!”

What I have learned already in spades is the need to walk humbly not only with the source of all healing, but with a whole village of people who have surrounded me with love and support – wonderful, patient, caring nurses, doctors, family members and friends who literally gave up days and nights to care for me after my hospital stay, some who drove hundreds of miles to be with me, FB friends praying for me, church members and friends who have volunteered to drive me to endless doctors’ appointments, and so many more.

And then there’s my long-suffering, hard-working wife, Diana. After 24.5 year of marriage I didn’t think I could love her any more, but I have never been so wrong. I simply have no words to describe the unconditional, undeserved love she has shown me in so many small and large ways. I am blessed beyond any thing I can ever deserve or repay.

Confession – Good for the Soul

by Steve Harsh, posted in Aging to Sageing, memoir, self-care

“Confession is good for the soul” according to an old (mid-19th century) Scottish proverb. Those exact words are not in the Bible but are certainly compatible with several verses that are:

1 John 1:9 (NKJV): “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness”.
James 5:16 (NIV): “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”.
Proverbs 28:13 (NIV): “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy”.
Psalm 32:3-5 (NIV): David describes the physical/emotional weight of keeping silent, stating, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you… and you forgave the guilt of my sin”.

I have been thinking about all that since yesterday because I did something stupid yesterday and am hoping confessing it will be good for my soul. My wife, Diana, and I were out to eat last evening with some family members at a local Rusty Bucket restaurant. Before we ordered our food I bumped my elbow on an empty chair beside me. I didn’t think about it again until I got up to go to the restroom and my niece noticed that my elbow was bleeding a little where I bumped it. (Thanks to blood thinner I’m on.)

I guess I was preoccupied with how I was going to get a band aid as I headed to the restroom, at least that’s my lame excuse, and once there I remembered that I had band aids in a small pouch I carry with me with medications I might need. As I was getting the band aid out I was surprised to hear my wife’s voice say, “Steve, do you know you are in the women’s restroom?” Thankful that she was the only one in there with me I beat a hasty retreat to the men’s room and finished bandaging my cut.

Obviously a lack of paying attention to the signs on the restrooms was the primary cause of my faux pas, but it got me wondering if I am less focused on what I’m doing because of my age, the chronic back pain that occupies way too much of my thought processes, or just a lack of mindfulness in general to my being in the world?

While I’d like to blame my forgetfulness and wandering attention on age or pain or other distractions, I must also confess that this is not a recent problem for me. I don’t know how my mind went from absent-mindedly walking into the wrong restroom to golf, but it did; so bear with me. In particular my memories went to times that I’ve been hit with a golf ball while on the course. There have actually only been two incidents where I’ve been hit in 50 plus years of playing golf, which I think is pretty good considering the possibilities.

But here’s the interesting thing about both of those times I was hit by a golf ball – they were both my fault. Why? Because in both cases I was not paying attention and was somewhere I should not have been. And both of these happened 8-15 years ago; so it wasn’t my age. In one incident my ball was 100 yards to the right of my playing partners and should have been well out of his line of fire.

But – my ball was also closer to the green than his, which meant that I should not be in front of his lie while he hit the ball. It looked safe, but weird things happen on golf courses when amateurs are playing and he shanked his shot right toward me. Second mistake – I was thinking about my upcoming shot and not watching his shot which is bad golf etiquette and dangerous. His wayward shot bounced before hitting my head which kept it from doing any damage, but it was still a little unnerving.

The second time a few years later proved I hadn’t fully learned my lesson. I reached a particularly troublesome green in regulation – a rare occurrence for me, and was so excited about being on that green that I failed to pay attention to the other three golfers in our group. One should never go on the green until every golfer in the group is on the putting surface. Well guess who broke that rule? Again I failed to notice (a recurring theme here) that one member of our foursome was about to chip his ball onto the green. Again I took one in the head, but since it was an easy chip it did no physical damage; but it was most embarrassing.

So my lack of mindfulness and focus on what I’m doing is not a new phenomenon. That’s not big news to me or my poor wife. The question is now that I have these reminders will I actually do anything to change my behavior? Stay tuned.

Compassionless Leadership: Destruction of 500 Tons of Food

by Steve Harsh, posted in Christian Discipleship, Faith and Politics, Faith and Values

I am one who is certainly grateful that Jesus and the New Testament teach us that our God is merciful and gracious. I John 4:8 plainly states that “God is Love.” I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins God is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

And Jesus taught and practiced forgiveness right up till the very end. He taught his disciples to forgive not seven times but seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:22). And Jesus practiced what he preached. In the throes of a most painful and gruesome execution he forgave one of the thieves crucified with him ( Luke 23:43), and even asks God to forgive the very men who nailed him to that cross (Luke 23:34).

But you know who he didn’t forgive? A bunch of goats! Now, before you call the SPCA on Jesus go read Matthew 25:31-46, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, read it again slowly. And if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable read it two more times with an open mind and heart. This parable is, of course, not about four-legged goats and sheep, but about humans and how we treat those who by the world’s standards are “the least.” The goats in this parable are those who lack basic human compassion and concern for their fellow human beings.

Here’s what Jesus has to say about those people: “Then he will say to those at his left hand, ‘You who are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels, for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison and did not take care of you?’ Then he will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment but the righteous into eternal life.” (Matthew 25:41-46)

What made me think about that parable this week is a story in the news that has gotten much less attention than it deserves. Buried under all the coverage generated by the Jeffery Epstein saga, which is important, is a horrific report that makes me furious. Because of the deep cuts in USAID, which provided humanitarian relief to starving people in some of the world’s poorest countries, 500 tons of food already bought and paid for by American taxpayers to feed thousands of the “least” of our brothers and sisters will be destroyed. Yes, 1,000,000 pounds of food being destroyed while millions of children and adults starve to death.

That is simply criminal, immoral, and inexcusable! As I said at the beginning of this post, I am grateful for a merciful God. Because of that I do not believe in hell as a place of eternal punishment, but I am starting to rethink that. Forgive me for playing God, but I think there has to be a special form of punishment somewhere for those who cruelly withhold food from starving people.

In the parable of the sheep and goats the goats are accused of a passive failing to care for the marginalized people, but the MAGA cuts to USAID and the destruction of 1,000,000 pounds of food are an intentional act of cruel and inhumane treatment, and the Scriptures tell us that is the same as starving Christ himself. And to those Jesus says, “You who are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.”

I’m not sure what this all means; so let me end with this frequent biblical admonition: “If anyone has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:23 and several other verses). 

Prayer for Truth that Set Us Free

by Steve Harsh, posted in Christian Discipleship, spiritual discipline

O Gracious God, you have taught us that if we know the truth it will set us free. But sometimes we can’t handle the truth. We don’t like what we see in the mirror sometimes if we’re really honest with ourselves and with you. Our history as a nation and as individuals is not perfect by any measure. We have not always loved you with all our hearts. We have not always acted in loving ways toward our neighbors. We don’t even love ourselves some times.

Like St. Paul the very things we know we ought to do are not the things we do, and so we need to humbly throw ourselves on your mercy and beg forgiveness.

It’s not easy to know what the truth is, Lord. It can be so subjective and so bent out of shape by personal biases—and we all have them. And that makes it hard to trust and communicate. It makes productive dialogue difficult when we argue to win or to defend ourselves instead of seeking truth together.

Even the Good News of Christ gets distorted when we are afraid there isn’t enough for everyone – when we try to keep your grace only for ourselves and those we think are worthy. Truth is we fear judgment from you and others; so we try to make ourselves look better than we are. We think we have to earn your Grace, Lord; and that pseudo-good news won’t set anyone free.

Help us never to forget, O God of all creation, that the Good News of Christ is meant to set us all free—no matter who we are or what we’ve done. You sent Christ to show us that you are a God who says that if we dare to confess our sins you are “faithful and just and will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” You teach us that even if our “sins are like scarlet they will be as white as snow.”

Help us now O God to accept the truth of salvation through repentance so we are set free from sin and guilt – set free to share the good news of your eternal love with the world. May it be so.

[Scripture references: John 8:32,I John 1:9, Isaiah 1:18]