Tag: humility

Advent 1, 2025 Matthew 24:36-44, BE PREPARED!

by Steve Harsh, posted in Advent, Christmas, hope, Lectionary Texts

This message for this first Sunday in Advent in Matthew’s Gospel is also the motto of the Boy Scouts – “Be prepared.” As an Eagle Scout one could assume that it would fit my life style. I wish it did, but in crisis or stressful situations I’m not at my best. When I was about 14 or 15 my Explorer Post took a canoe trip on an old abandoned canal called the Whitewater Canal in southern Indiana. The name was misleading since there was no white water there, but there was one tricky spot in the concrete remains of an old lock.

Because the current got faster as it narrowed into the lock there was a sign telling canoeists to portage around the lock. Portage means to pull over to the bank, get out, and carry your canoe around to the other side of the lock where it’s ok to put back into the water. The problem was that the portage sign was so close to the lock that there was little time, especially for inexperienced paddlers, to exit the water before being sucked into the lock. The portage sign was on a cable stretched across the water and the first reaction to seeing that sign when it was too late to portage was to grab the cable and try to stop. The problem was the person grabbing the cable stopped, but his canoe didn’t.

Some of us who made the canoe trip in the first of two groups had found out the hard way how this worked and had a good laugh as we scrambled to retrieve our runaway canoes. So, rather than being good Scouts and warning our friends in the second group about this hazard we secretly hiked down to the lock while group 2 was getting ready to set off so we could see how many of them ended up in the drink like we had. Some did, of course, and we had a good laugh until we realized that our Scoutmaster in one of the tipped canoes had gone under and not come back up. He was trapped under the current.

It was truly a life and death moment, and I was frozen in fear. I remember yelling for someone to do something, but it felt like my feet were nailed to the ground. Thank God two of my fellow Scouts did act courageously. They jumped the 8 feet from the top of the lock to the water and pulled our sputtering Scoutmaster to safety. They were both honored for their bravery, but I was not prepared to act.

In less dramatic ways I was not prepared to leave home for college and spent an entire quarter terribly homesick. I was not ready for marriage at age 21 or for parenthood 3 years later – but then who is ever really ready for that responsibility. And now in my “golden years” I am certainly not ready for the challenges of aging!

So if it’s that hard to be prepared for “normal” life events that we know are coming, what in the world can we do to be prepared for the coming of the Lord? Matthew says, “Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.” (24:44). That verse is about the second coming, but Advent is our warning that we need to be prepared not just for the celebration of Christ’s birth but for the big surprise of his dropping in again any time he feels like it.

Sorry, Lord, I don’t like surprises. I don’t even like unexpected changes to my daily routine. And my weird sense of humor suddenly turns to the lyrics from an old song by Eileen Barton:

“If I knew you were comin’ I’d’ve baked a cake, baked a cake, baked a cake

If I knew you were comin’ I’d’ve baked a cake

Howdya do, howdya do, howdya do?

Had you dropped me a letter, I’d a-hired a band, grandest band in the land

Had you dropped me a letter, I’d a-hired a band

And spread the welcome mat for you

Oh, I don’t know where you came from

’cause I don’t know where you’ve been

But it really doesn’t matter

Grab a chair and fill your platter

And dig, dig, dig right in.”

It’s like dating or meeting someone important for the first time. We can put our best foot forward and be on our best behavior when we are prepared. Even I can clean up pretty well when I am forewarned. I can even tidy up the house when I know when my wife is returning from a trip, but “at any hour you do not expect!” That’s not fair.

But timing is not really the issue. God has known when we’ve been naughty or nice long before Santa or security cameras started tracking us. And it’s not rocket science. Being prepared for Christ is like an open book test. The Book has been telling us for 2500 years what God expects to find when he/she drops in unexpectedly. “He has told you, O mortal, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8)

That’s pretty straightforward, and yes, much easier said than done. But please notice that last line – humility is the way to grace and mercy. God knows all too well we all flunk at doing justice and loving kindness way more than we like. But as 1 John tells us, “If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” (1:9-10). That first part is humility, the second not so much.

And there’s another wonderful summary of being prepared for Christmas or any Christ coming. The whole Bible is a lot of stuff to digest. There’s not just 10 Commandments but hundreds in the Hebrew Scriptures/Old Testament. So Jesus boiled it all down for us. “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest? He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40)

Simple – love God and all your neighbors and yourself! Do that and you will be prepared. I hear you, but, Steve, how can we do that? We’re just fallible human beings after all! So, here’s the secret I’m counting on, and maybe you should too. “But Jesus looked at them and said, “For mortals it is impossible, but for God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26)

All Saints Prayer 2025

by Steve Harsh, posted in Aging to Sageing, Christian Discipleship, Faith Development, Gratitude, hope, prayer, spiritual discipline

As we prepare our hearts for prayer on this All Saints Sunday I want to share some words for our meditation from Linda Hogan in her book “Dwellings.” She says,

“Walking, I am listening to a deeper way. Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.”


O Holy One, God of the present age, of every generation that has enabled our being here today, and of all the multitudes who will follow in our footsteps if we find a way to a sustainable future for the creation we are a part of.

We know All Saints Day may sound pretentious because none of us are truly saintly.
We are all a weird mixture of sinner and saint striving to be more the latter as followers of Jesus and good stewards of your creation. We want to be builders of a peaceable kingdom, a beloved community, honest we do.

But you know that our fears and anxieties too often lead us to foolishly put our trust in stuff that promises security but only creates higher walls of tribal suspicion and prejudice. Bigger bombs and battleships only motivate others to make more weapons that steal resources from hungry children.

As we ponder the mysteries of how our ancestors made sense of their lives help us lovingly forgive their mistakes even as we learn from their collective wisdom.  We are grateful that we don’t have to reinvent every wheel because we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses who bless us with their presence. We are never alone, although at times it sure feels like it.

Among those saints are those whose names we all know – Moses, Ruth, Micah, Theresa, Amos, Francis, Jesus and Paul – but those famous ones are totally outnumbered by the ordinary Joes and Judys who quietly have preserved the faith through disasters, depressions, pandemics, and ages of apathy.


Today we remember those dear ones who have passed through the thin veil that divides our reality from eternal peace and truth. We give thanks for those who dwell now in your very heart, O God. We envy their peace and unity with you, even as we humbly give thanks for their love that has produced this community of faith that nurtures us still today.


We are indebted to their example of service. We are inspired by their faith that overcame the doubts and despair that are part of the human condition. Like them we journey ever on toward the cross of Christ and the example he gives us as we join our voices with all the saints in the prayer Jesus taught us to pray ….

Northwest United Methodist Church, Columbus, Ohio, November 2, 2025

No Forgiveness Unless We Confess and Face the Truth

by Steve Harsh, posted in Faith and Politics, Faith and Values, spiritual discipline

“ If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make God a liar, and his word is not in us.” I John 1:8-10

The Bible is very consistently on the side of honesty and truth. That doesn’t mean everyone in the Bible is honest and truthful, far from it. From Adam and Eve’s deceit about the forbidden fruit, to Abraham lying that Sarah was his sister to save his own skin, to Peter’s denying that he even knew Jesus three times, and so many more incidents humanity’s fallible nature shows up in nearly every chapter of the biblical narrative.

That doesn’t mean the standards and values set forward for us in the Scriptures are not high. The 8th commandment is “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor,” and John 8: 32 tells us that it’s truth, not lies, that sets us free.

God knows we are not going to live up to those high ideals because She made us with free will and knew we would abuse that gift regularly. And knowing that, God built into the system grace and mercy and forgiveness.

But as I John points out, there’s a catch. “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” But there’s good news because that verse goes on to say “If we confess our sins, he who is faithful will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

That’s pretty straightforward. We screw up, but if confess our shortcomings and failures instead of trying to hide them from, others, ourselves, or from God, which is a fool’s errand for sure, there is redemption.

I bring that up just now because we Americans are experiencing a real shortage of honesty, truth, and confession right now. Yes, I know that’s always been the case, but just now truth is being exiled and threatened at the highest echelons of American society. Our president is so insecure and ignorant of American and World history, let alone the Christian Gospel, that he is terrified by truth.

He is purging exhibits from the Smithsonian because they make slavery look bad! For God’s sake how can anything make chattel slavery, lynching other human beings for the color of their skin, and 400 years of systemic racism look anything but bad? The truth is that The United States was founded on racism and enslavement of African people and on genocide against Native Americans who were here for centuries before white immigrants arrived.

That’s a hard truth to swallow, I know, but trying to bury it with lies, book burnings, and threats to historians only makes the crime worse. As I John tells us, the only road to forgiveness is through the pain of confession, and confession requires a cold hard look at Truth, no matter how awful it is.

Out of sight may be out mind, but it doesn’t change the truth. Rounding up and imprisoning people experiencing homelessness may make some people more comfortable who don’t have to witness that problem, but it doesn’t change the truth that the wealthiest nation in the world refuses to address the grave social issues of poverty, hunger, health care, and adequate shelter that should be basic human rights

We cannot solve problems we refuse to admit we have. That’s the essence of confession. Climate change is the biggest current disaster caused by denial of its existence. Had we confessed as a nation that we were poisoning our planet decades ago we would not be in the mess we are in today.

The truth can set us free, but only if we have the humility and courage to face it. Until then, “If we say we have not sinned, we make God a liar, and God’s truth is not in us.”

Happy Motherly God‘s Day

by Steve Harsh, posted in Aging to Sageing, Faith Development, Gratitude, Women's Rights

My home of origin in the 1950’s and 60’s was a very traditional patriarchal family. And the church family I grew up in was likewise dominated with patriarchal theology and structure. I can’t go back and change any of that, but I regret that my foundational values and theological constructs were void of any feminine images and qualities.

This reality for me was complicated by a strained relationship with my father. My dad survived a painful childhood with an abusive, alcoholic step-father and a near-death experience as a 24 year-old pilot in World War II. No one had discovered PTSD in those days, but I’m sure my dad was a classic case. He compensated by living by a very strict and literal adherence to conservative theological and cultural norms.

I never questioned my father’s love for me, but it always felt conditional on my living up to his high expectations and obedience to his rules. Theologically for me this meant the patriarchal image of God was filtered through my relationship to my earthly father. It never occurred to me or anyone in my circle of influence to question the God as Father theology I learned at church.

One of my regrets about this is that I felt much more comfortable with and closer to my mother but had no model for seeing her as the image of God. She was a good subservient wife as was expected in the culture we lived in, but there was also a quality of unconditional love and acceptance about her that was lacking in my dad. If I had a problem or screwed up, as I did often, I would always go to my mom and confess because she would calmly help me deal with the situation where my dad would either verbally or non verbally convey disapproval. That’s who my parents were. There’s no judgment in that now, although there was for many years as I tried to liberate myself from the conservative world my dad lived in.

My point here is that I wish someone had suggested to me that God is also an expression of the maternal, loving qualities we rightly or wrongly have attributed to the feminine. Because no one dared to think outside the patriarchal box I lived many years of my life with a fear of a judgmental God. And the larger church and even the liberal seminary I went to in my early 20’s was still a prisoner to the male-dominated images of God.

The entire faculty and 96% of my seminary class were white males. That began to change dramatically in the 1970’s after I graduated as women and people of color were added to the seminary community. That’s wonderful, but I missed it! I worked with several great senior pastors in my ministry, but again all white and male.

Finally in the early 2000’s when I was about 60 years old I joined a congregation with a wonderful, creative, vibrant female pastor. I went on to work part-time in retirement with her and other women, and it has opened a whole new world of theological depth and understanding to my image of the divine as full and inclusive of all of God’s creation. I still am blessed to hear the word proclaimed many Sundays and Holy Days from a unique female perspective. Most of the current devotional and theological blogs, podcasts, and books I have benefited most from in the last few years are created by female writers, pastors, and theologians.

And so this Mother’s Day I am giving thanks for all the women who have helped shape my life. Grandmothers, mother, aunts, colleagues, friends, wives, preachers, political leaders and more. Let’s celebrate that special capacity so many women have to nurture, soothe, love, and bless us with those God-given qualities the world so desperately needs right now.

Trump’s Ukraine Negotiations: A Recipe for Disaster

by Steve Harsh, posted in Government Reform, peacemaking, spiritual discipline

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Jesus, Matthew 5:9

If you haven’t seen the video of the Trump-Vance vs. Zelensky “negotiations” in the Oval Office yet, please stop here and see it for yourself.  Try to suspend whatever opinions about the encounter you have heard or read about from commentators, although I know that is hard to do.  It is even harder to divorce oneself from personal bias, and if you have read any of my posts in the last few months you probably know my political bias.  These thoughts however came to me as I watched the White House meeting live and before I had heard other commentary.

President Trump has said repeatedly and again today that he wants peace in Ukraine.  By that he means he wants the killing to stop; he wants the credit; and he also wants to be paid back for what the U.S. has provided to Ukraine in the last three years, even though that was never part of the deal.  The Biden administration and a bipartisan Congress gave armaments to Ukraine so they could defend themselves from a Russian invasion.  Yes, Russia is to blame for this war, even though that is not the case in Trump’s alternative facts universe.  The point here is that the military aid was a gift, not a loan.  There is nothing to repay to the U.S. or the other nations who have supported Kyiv through these three long, bloody years. We did it because it was the right thing to do, period. 

And yet here we are again with Trump trying to coerce a deal with Ukraine for some rare earth minerals in exchange for continued support just like he did in his first term when he tried to get dirt of the Bidens from Zelensky as pay back for U.S. support.  That was the reason Trump was impeached the first time, remember? 

So enter these three key players today – Trump, Vance, and Zelensky.  I said to my wife as soon as I saw J.D. Vance was there that he had no business being there, and if Trump really wanted peace he would not have included his Vice-President in this delicate meeting.  The inexperienced Vance has already insulted Ukraine and most of Europe in his disastrous speech in Munich a couple of weeks ago.  He has so little political experience that his fellow Republicans called his Munich blunder “a rookie mistake.”  So why have this rookie even in this critical meeting in the first place? Apparently so he and Trump could gang up on Zelensky, and in fact it was Vance’s intrusion into the conversation when the meeting was nearly over that set off the shouting match.  Vance is the apprentice who should be fired.

Side bar: I heard later that someone had the audacity to criticize Zelensky for how he was dressed, saying it was disrespectful for him not to wear a suit and tie for this important meeting.  Have you seen how Elon Musk dresses for cabinet meetings and other events in the Oval Office?  Methinks Zelensky was set up to be ambushed from the get go, and that’s what bullies do, not what peacemakers do.

The other Scripture that came to mind as I watched is the very familiar passage from I Corinthians 13 where Paul says, “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable; it keeps no record of wrongs; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing but rejoices in the truth.”  Both our President and VP were boastful, arrogant, and rude.  They both insist on their own way and keep records of every real or imagined wrong ever done to them.  And let’s not forget the matter of truth.  Trump has repeatedly said that the U.S. has provided Ukraine $300-360 billion in aid when the real number appropriated by Congress is less than $200 billion.  Trump was caught on video last week calling Zelensky a “dictator,” but when asked by a reporter Thursday if he still thought the Ukrainian president was a dictator, Trump straight-faced said, “Did I say that? I can’t believe I ever said that.” He never did answer the question.  As for the demand from both Americans that Zelensky needed to be grateful for our aid the fact checkers tell us the Ukranian President has already expressed gratitude publicly over 30 times. 

You will of course get two different assessments of how President Trump did in this made for television spectacle.  His Republican allies loved his “tough” handling of Zelensky while his Democratic critics saw what transpired as a disaster for our country and for our former Western Allies.  But here’s all you need to know about the impact yesterday’s events will have on the future of democracy.  First, a Russian reporter was allowed into the oval office for this delicate meeting (which should have been held in private) so Trump’s reprise of his role in the Apprentice could be reported directly back to the Kremlin.  Second, the loudest cheers for the Trump-Vance tag team performance came from Putin and his oligarchs in Moscow, and all the while the bombing and destruction of Ukraine continues into a fourth year.

My father and all the other brave men and women who risked their lives to defeat fascism in WWII are turning over in their graves. 

March 1, 2025

Jimmy Carter, Servant Leader Par Excellence

by Steve Harsh, posted in Christian Discipleship, Faith and Politics, spiritual discipline

I came of age politically in the bloody year of 1968, a year of political assassinations and a violent Democratic National Convention in Chicago. Hubert Humphrey, badly weakened by those events and the increasingly unpopular Viet Nam War, lost that year’s Presidential election to Richard Nixon, who won a landslide re-election over George McGovern four years later. I was 0-2 in presidential election votes.

Nixon was forced to resign in disgrace by the Watergate scandal just two years later in 1974, setting the stage for a little-known Georgia governor/peanut farmer to launch an unlikely presidential campaign in 1975. Elected by a razor slim margin in 1976, that 39th U.S. President was Jimmy Carter who died recently at the age of 100.

I have great admiration for this President who was one of the most honest and compassionate to ever serve as our Commander in Chief. His record of human rights promotion and tireless work for peace and justice while in office and for forty years afterward is an example of faith-based servant leadership that few have achieved; but all of us should emulate if we want our badly broken world to survive the current political, economic, and ecological crises facing us.

Much more eloquent tributes than mine have poured in from all over the world since President Carter’s death, but I have a personal memory in addition to all of his remarkable accomplishments. Jimmy Carter was the first presidential candidate I ever voted for who actually won the election. In fact in my first six presidential election cycles Jimmy Carter was my only winner.

In retrospect Carter was too honest and kind to survive in the dog-eat-dog world of Washington politics. So he will not go down in history as a very successful President in spite of remarkable legislative accomplishments, significant civil rights and women’s rights actions, and the Camp David peace accords between Egypt and Israel.

I had forgotten that the two things that doomed Carter’s re-election in 1980, the Arab oil embargo and the hostage take over of the U.S. embassy in Tehran, were done in retaliation for Carter’s peacemaking efforts and his compassionate welcome of the former Shah of Iran to the U.S. for medical treatment.

There was also some underhanded dealing by Carter’s Republican challenger, Ronald Reagan, who struck a deal with Iran to hold the hostages until after the election. As I said before, Carter was too honest and kind for political infighting.

As I have listened and read about President Carter in the last week I have been humbled by his faith-based commitment to a life of service in spite of illness and advancing age. He created a new vision of what it means to continue to serve humanity after “retirement” from public service.

He and Rosalyn did more for humanity after the age of 90 than most of us ever accomplish in a lifetime. At the age of 78 I personally have trouble making it through one day at a time, and yet as a cancer surviving octogenarian Jimmy and Rosalyn circled the globe building houses, curing diseases, and promoting democracy.

And in his spare time Carter taught Sunday School for decades and wrote 30 books! How he managed that much writing given his schedule is way beyond me. I self-published one small book 13 years ago and haven’t had the discipline or energy to attempt another one since.

As a pastor I also have great admiration for Carter’s prophetic witness about human rights for women and LGBTQA+ people. He humbly credits his mother Lillian for his inclusive attitude toward all people, and they were both way ahead of their time. Carter was such a man of principle that he left his life-long membership in the Southern Baptist Convention over his denomination’s discrimination against women pastors and leaders.

If anyone has ever deserved to hear the words, “Well done, you good and faithful servant,” it is James Earl Carter, Jr., humble peanut farmer, 39th President, and exemplary servant leader. As I begin 2025 one of my goals is to in some small way live a life worthy of Jimmy Carter’s example.

Prayer for Finding Grace Through Humility

by Steve Harsh, posted in prayer

O Gracious and mighty God, we your faithful children are here again to worship and praise you.  It is so good to sing your praises, even if some of us are off key.  We are so grateful that we are here again to keep the Sabbath holy, unlike those sinners who slept in or are out on the golf course! 

What’s that, Lord?  Oh, no, I didn’t mean to judge anyone else.  I know you don’t want us to do that.  But you did tell us not to hide our lamp under a bushel, remember?  You said we are the light of the world.  That seems like something we should be pretty proud of.  Yes, I remember the story Jesus told about the bragging Pharisee who was glad he was not like the tax collector sitting next to him.

Yes, we know that verse from Micah that says we should walk humbly with you, but that’s hard to do.  Our society doesn’t reward the introvert or the wall flower.  We want leaders in business and government who are courageous and daring.  But in your kingdom we get a much different message that your followers are to be humble servants!  Jesus even taught that the meek shall inherit the earth! 

We don’t see much evidence of that happening anytime soon!  But all around us, Holy One, we see life experiences that teach us humility if we take the time to notice.  When we see a breathtaking sunset or gaze into the vastness of the universe we realize how small we are in a cosmic perspective.  When we’re sick and dependent on others to care for us, we are humbled.  Or when we are greeted by the unconditional love of a beloved pet, or when we hold a newborn infant in our arms and feel the miracle of a new life right there in our hands – there are no words to express the awe and wonder we experience.

And, oh, when we honestly reflect up our own lives – all the times we have failed to live up to our own expectations, let alone yours, we are brought to our knees in total humility.  And from there, with truly humble hearts we are ready to give thanks for your amazing grace and for the gift of your beloved son, Jesus, who lived the life of a humble servant and calls us to do the same.  In his name we offer our hearts and prayers as we join our voices in the prayer he taught us to pray…

Northwest United Methodist Church, Columbus, Ohio, September 22, 2024

Faith: Alive or Dead?

by Steve Harsh, posted in Christian Discipleship, Faith Development, Lectionary Texts

“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but does not have works? Surely that faith cannot save, can it? If a brother or sister is naked and lacks daily food and one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and eat your fill,” and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that? So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead.” James 2:14-17

The epistle lesson for this coming Sunday is the familiar “Faith without works is dead” passage from James 2. How often when I pass by a person begging for money on the street do I feel guilty and worry that my faith is dead or dying? Thanks, James. There must be more value to these verses than humbling me if I am dwelling in a glass house of self-righteousness.

But maybe that’s all these verses need to do. Causing you or me to stop and look in the mirror is really quite an important thing for a spiritual encounter to do. To pause from our busy lives for a bit of self-examination is much more helpful than the far more common way this passage is used, namely to put others down by pointing out the hypocrisy of their holier-than-thou rhetoric and lack of empathy or meaningful service to meet the real needs of their neighbors.

One of the bishops I served under had a memorable way of keeping us clergy humble. He was fond of saying that things always worked out well when he was appointing clergy to serve in the churches under his supervision. He said the numbers always came out even because there “are always as many perfect churches as there are perfect pastors.”

James employs a similar tactic earlier in chapter 2. In verses 8-10 we find these words: “If you really fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’ you do well. But if you show partiality, you commit sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it.”

Does that mean God doesn’t grade on the curve? That nothing but a perfect score is good enough to live up to God’s standards? No, who could ever stand before such a God? Such a God would never send a Messiah to save us from ourselves. Such a Messiah would never welcome lepers, tax collectors, and all manner of societal outcasts into God’s beloved community.

James is simply warning us that our faith journey is a marathon, not a sprint. James is alerting us to the danger of thinking we’ve got it all figured out or that our work is ever done. I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a long way to go to love my enemies or to turn the other cheek. This side of heaven there will always be more neighbors to love, more poor who are with us always. God’s love is eternal and so are the tasks of discipleship for those who have decided to follow Jesus.

ICU LIFE LESSONS

by Steve Harsh, posted in Aging to Sageing, Gratitude, hope, Wellness

Three days ago I quite unexpectedly began a crash course in life lessons I didn’t sign up for. Thanks to dangerously low blood pressure and low Hemoglobin I became so dizzy at home and unable to stand that I earned myself a first-ever ride in an ambulance. That bumpy ride landed me two other firsts —two nights in ICU and a first time blood transfusion.

Quite a day and night, and I’m happy to report that within 24 hours and after some bleeding ulcers were discovered and treated I made a remarkable recovery. I am writing this from a regular hospital room just under four days after it all began and am processing it all by trying to capture and share some of what I’ve learned.

First and foremost I have been amazed and humbled by the outpouring of love I’ve felt from family and friends. The hospital EMT’s and hospital staff have been fantastic. I expected that, but am still beyond grateful for how dedicated and wonderful they all have been, and some of what they had to do for me was quite frankly disgusting.

What blew me away however has been the constant stream of visits, texts, and phone calls from family and friends concerned about my welfare. My dear wife, Diana, has been a rock, and I can never repay her for the hours she has spent with me and so thoughtfully brought me things from home that I might need. I can’t imagine going through something like this without her. I hope I will never take her for granted, but I also know we have pledged to care for each other in sickness and in health. It’s a covenant we made with each other 22 years ago, and one we take very seriously.

But it takes a village to hold up the most loving care giver. And that’s where I am in awe at how large and strong my village is. I am not bragging. I am so humbled because I know I am not as supportive of my family and friends as mine have been for me in the last 96 hours. For example, it is about a 30 minute drive from my house to Riverside Methodist Hospital in Columbus, Ohio. I was not in crisis; so my ambulance ride did not feature high speeds or sirens.

I was however in bad enough shape that I was taken immediately into treatment once we arrived at the ER. That was a blessing, but even more so was that within the first 20 minutes I was in the ER in walked my beautiful 25 year old granddaughter. Her mother called her because she was the closest family member to my location, and she was able to leave work and come sit with me during that scariest part of my journey.

It was a powerful reminder to me of how important a ministry of presence is. Olivia was simply there for me, and her maturity and calm demeanor was contagious. She asked questions I didn’t think of and just was an extra pair of eyes and ears for me.

And much to my wondering eyes other family members just kept showing up. Within my first hour in the ER my village blossomed to include my daughter (who is herself recovering from painful foot surgery) and son-in-law, along with their two sons (my grandsons). And to round out my entourage a nephew by marriage who is a surgical nurse at Riverside dropped by to add his medical knowledge and expertise.

They all stayed around until I was admitted and situated in an ICU room and have all been back or called/texted me every day since. And so has my son who was not able to join the welcome party that morning but came to visit with his wife that first evening.

I knew I was loved by my family before Thursday, but quite frankly we don’t always show that love as much as we could. My family members are all very busy people, and it is easy to feel sometimes like we oldsters are not a priority for them; but they have showed me in no uncertain terms this week that when they are needed the most they are there.

Humility. I know everyone jokes about how you surrender your dignity when you become a hospital patient, and that’s true. The first thing the nurses did when I arrived in the ICU was remove every stitch of the clothing I came in with. They wiped me down with baby wipes, and I use that term because I felt like a helpless baby. And that feeling came through even more strongly that night when my bowels did their thing all over me and my bed before I had time to even realize what was happening.

The staff calmly cleaned me and my mess up as if they do it every day, and likely they do. And then it happened again a few hours later, and I was really embarrassed. When I apologized they simply said, “that’s what we’re here for.” What gracious and loving servants!

We are all just a minute away from such a reminder of how interdependent we are. Being helpless and needing assistance with even the most basic of bodily functions is nothing to be embarrassed about. It is part of the cycle of life and our human condition.

I know that my situation here has been nothing compared to people who are battling life-threatening diseases and injuries, but the lessons are similar. I also know I am very privileged to have access to excellent medical care which far too many of my fellow citizens do not have. Those are the sisters and brothers we all have who need us to be their advocates and village members who demand a just and universal health care system.

We are our sisters and brothers keepers, and I will emerge from my experience not just healed of my physical symptoms but with better empathy and awareness of how I can pay forward the wonderful care I have received.

Thank you my dear village.

A Long Overdue Apology

by Steve Harsh, posted in memoir, Women's Rights

Is there a statute of limitations on dumb stuff one did way back in high school? I bet the vast majority of us would vote for an amendment to that effect if we had the chance. I am going to a high school reunion this weekend – one with a ridiculously big number attached to it. One of the great things about growing up in the 1960’s is that we didn’t have cell phones and social media to record our dumb stuff for posterity. But that doesn’t mean those embarrassing incidents aren’t tucked away somewhere in the recesses of our memories.

As I was thinking about our upcoming reunion a long-forgotten memory from the spring of my sophomore year popped into my consciousness and has been lurking around in there for several weeks now. And what’s more troubling than the memory is the fact that it never dawned on me for over 60 years how badly I behaved on a spring night in 1962.

I’m talking almost Donald Trump badly. No, I didn’t grab my date by any body part, and I didn’t assault her; but I did treat her very disrespectfully. It is painful even now to relive that night, but here’s the abridged version. I had a date with one of the smartest and nicest girls in my high school class. It was our first date, and you will soon see why it was the last.

I was still not even old enough to drive; so we double-dated with a friend of mine who was a senior. He had been going steady with a freshman girl for some time, and the four of us went to a party together. I’ll call him Bill to protect the innocent. Bill and I were both in a local Boy Scout troop, and I think the party we went to may have been one held by our troop to celebrate something which I do not recall.

So here’s the short and dirty – Bill’s date at some point, for reasons I will never understand, started flirting with me, and I fell for her charms like a ton of bricks. I proceeded to ignore my date for the rest of the evening to talk and flirt with my good friend’s steady girl. I don’t know how many points of the Scout Law I broke that night, but trustworthy, loyal, courteous, and kind certainly went out the window.

I have no memory of how that disastrous date ended. I don’t know why my date or Bill didn’t smack me silly. My only consolation is that my date and Bill ended up dating each other for a long time, much longer than my “relationship” lasted with the flirt. They got a much better deal from that double date than I did. The flirt dropped me a few weeks later in a much more unceremonious way than she did Bill. So, I got my just desserts.

But the most painful part of the memory is that I realized that I repeated similar kinds of disrespectful behavior in several other relationships with women throughout much of my adult life. I’m grateful that I learned to do better in mid-life; just wish it had been sooner rather than later.

But here’s my immediate dilemma. I will likely see the woman who was my date that night at our upcoming reunion. Should I apologize to her after all these years? I hope she has long since forgotten what a jerk I was, but I know I may feel more at peace if I unburden my conscience. What I wonder is if my apologizing is also the right thing to do for her? I welcome advice, especially from my female readers.