Commit to Adulthood: Jesus and Sexual Misconduct, Exodus 20: 14, Matthew 5: 27-30

As one celebrity or public figure after another has joined the long list of those accused of sexual misconduct I have wrestled with how to comment in a meaningful way. I’m still working on that, but I remembered a sermon I preached several years ago that seems even more relevant today than it was then. I hope it adds something to this conversation. The sermon was part of a series on the 10 Commandments, “Stone Tablets in a Wireless World,” at Northwest UMC, Columbus, OH in the summer of 2014.

“You Shall Not Commit Adultery.” Some of you are thinking, “Finally, we’ve gotten to a commandment I haven’t broken.” And some of you carry a heavy burden of guilt or anger at yourself or someone else who has failed to live up to commandment number 7. I have good news and bad news for us all because this commandment is about much more for all of us than sexual fidelity.

I got an email two months ago asking me if I was available to preach one part of a series called “Stone Tablets in a Wireless World.” I love to preach and my calendar was open; so I said sure. Lesson learned – before making a commitment be sure you fully understand what you are committing to do.

I didn’t bother to ask which commandment since it was several weeks away. Fast forward to mid-June when the series began. I got out my calendar and started counting the Sundays until August 3 and arrived at the conclusion that I would be preaching on number 8,”You Shall Not Steal.” When I emailed our pastor to confirm that conclusion, her reply was a classic. She said, “No, we will be skipping one Sunday in July to do a mission report. I have you scheduled for adultery on August 3.”

I assured my wife she had nothing to fear – I might be scheduled for adultery on August 3 but after preaching three times in one morning, the only attraction a bed would have for me is a nap.

Everyone chuckles when I tell them I’m preaching on Adultery, but this is serious business. As with the sixth commandment, this one is short and very unambiguous. “You shall not commit adultery.” And, as with “You shall not murder,” Jesus ups the ante in the Sermon on the Mount with one of those things we just wish he hadn’t said when he gets to adultery.

Matthew 5:27: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
And then it gets worse —
“If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.” Wow! If we enforced that one literally we’d have a world full of blind folks with no hands!

A young boy in Sunday school was asked to recite the 10 commandments. When he got to number 7, he said, “Thou shall not commit adulthood.” Part of the problem with obedience or lack thereof when it comes to the commandments is a refusal to commit adulthood. We are all a bit like Peter Pan, the boy who refuses to grow up.
St. Paul’s beautiful words about love in I Corinthians 13 are by far the most quoted scripture at weddings, and that chapter includes the line, “When I became an adult I put away childish things.” Faithful maturity means committing adulthood, but that commitment has to be renewed on a daily or sometimes hourly basis, as Paul himself points out in Romans 7: “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Anybody relate to that if you’ve ever resolved to go on a diet or start an exercise program?

The two scriptures we read today make it sound so simple. Just don’t do it, and Jesus says the way to not do it is to not even think about it. Would Jesus say that if he lived in our wireless world? We’ve heard a lot recently about a “sexualized culture” in the OSU marching band. Big surprise! We live in a hyper-sexualized culture that uses sex to sell everything from Pontiacs to popsicles. Early Christian monks hid in monasteries to avoid worldly and sexual temptation, but there is nowhere to hide from the realities of human sexuality in a wireless world.
And the cast of characters in the Hebrew Scriptures, where the commandments reside, don’t help much. Sister Joan Chittister in her book, The Ten Commandments: Laws of the Heart, starts her discussion of adultery this way. “The problem with this commandment is that no one in the Hebrew Scriptures seems to keep it.” Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Jacob married both Leah and her sister Rachel, David knocked off one of his generals, Uriah, to try and cover up his affair with Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba. When Abram and Sarai were too impatient to wait on God’s promised son, they took matters into their own hands and Abram took Sarai’s servant Hagar, and she became the mother of his first son.

Yes, that’s ancient history, but to understand why we must take this commandment seriously today we have to make some sense of this seemingly blatant contradiction between what the scriptures say and the behavior of our spiritual ancestors. To oversimplify, at least part of the answer is that the biblical narrative is set in a sexist, patriarchal world where women were property. Having lots of wives and children were signs of prosperity and a future for society. There were no DNA tests to determine paternity and the lineage of one’s offspring determined inheritance; so the sexual faithfulness of a woman was critical to the whole socio-economic structure of the society. This commandment for Moses and Solomon was not about adultery as we know it but about respecting the property of others.

Marriage in biblical times was not based on ‘love’ as we think of it. The great musical “Fiddler on the Roof” makes that point in a humorous but very profound way. As Tevye’s and Golde’s daughters repeatedly challenge the sexist ways of their culture, loveable old Tevye begins to evaluate those traditions as well. In one memorable scene he surprises his wife of 25 years with this question: “Golde, do you love me?” And her response is classic. She says, “Do I what?”

So how do we understand and apply this commandment against adultery in our very different wireless world? The key is that it is all about commitment. Even though marriage in Jacob and Leah and Rachel’s day was totally different than ours, the common denominator is commitment to a set of responsibilities and obligations to each other which have to be taken seriously and kept to insure family and cultural stability.

An anonymous author has defined commitment this way: “Commitment is staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left.” Commitment is especially important in our transient world that moves at warp speed. We are a people deeply in need of stability. Extended families are over-extended or non-existent. When I grew up all of my grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins lived within a 20 mile radius. My mother didn’t need a cell phone to keep track of me. If I got in trouble she heard about it from her mom or one of her sisters before I got home!

Not so today when families are spread out all over the country. The village it takes to raise kids is gone. The support system for caring for the elderly at a time when the number of people in their 80’s and 90’s is growing exponentially is history, and the pressure all that puts on the nuclear family can cause a nuclear meltdown.
Those we love need the assurance that we take our commitments to them very seriously no matter what happens. Not because God says so or someone else said so. We have to be faithful to our commitments because we said so.

Marriage is a prime example of commitment because the promises we make are so huge. The words are so familiar they flow off the tongues of starry-eyed brides and grooms too easily. To love another person for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness in health, till death do us part. This is not a 5 year or 50000 mile guarantee. You don’t become a free agent when the contract expires. It’s for keeps.

I saw these words spray painted on a freeway overpass a few years ago: “John loves so and so forever.” I don’t know the name of the beloved because it had been painted over. Apparently “forever” turned out to be longer than John expected. And forever has gotten longer. When the average life expectancy was 40 or 50 till death do us part was a lot shorter than it is today. Caring for someone in sickness and health requires a whole lot more commitment when a spouse suffering from dementia no longer knows your name or is dying by inches from ALS or cancer.

“Commitment is staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it in has left.” Even on days when you don’t like each other very much. Love is not a feeling you fall into and out of. Love is a choice, a commitment. Is it humanly possible to love like that always? No. That kind of unconditional love is from God and we are merely promising to imitate it. God doesn’t say “I will love you if you do this or don’t do that. God says I love you period.” That’s commitment, and it’s what faithfulness in marriage or any relationship requires.

So what happens when we fail to live up to that high standard? When we break our promises and commitments or are even tempted to? Do we pluck out our eyes and cut off our hands? Or go on a long guilt trip to nowhere?
No, there’s another adultery story in chapter 8 of John’s gospel that shows us a better way.

“The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery; and making her stand before all of them, 4 they said to him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the very act of committing adultery. 5 Now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They said this to test him, so that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders; and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.”

Have you ever wondered what Jesus wrote on the ground during that confrontation? No one knows of course. No one had a cell phone to take a picture of it. But from what Jesus has said to me on the numerous occasions when I’ve flunked the commitment test, I think he simply wrote one word, and that word is “Grace.” Grace for the woman. Grace for her self-righteous accusers, And Amazing Grace for you and me if we admit our sin and recommit to God’s way of faithful love.

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A Requiem for Truth?

Every pastor has had one or more difficult funerals to preach where it is hard to find something good to say about the deceased. As we bury 2016 that’s how I’m feeling. So many celebrity deaths, so much death in Aleppo and the Sudan, in Orlando and Brussels and Berlin that we are in danger of becoming numb to grief as a survival mechanism. While Prince and Princess Leia made the headlines, there was another casualty last year of greater magnitude than all of the other losses combined, and we are in grave danger of that death causing a plague that could bring about the demise of democracy in the U.S.

I’m talking about “truth.” The date of death is unclear because truth died a slow death by inches as 2016 progressed (or regressed). It may have been on November 8 or early on the 9th, or maybe Truth was taken off life support on December 19 by the Electoral College.

Saturday Night Live was one of first to recognize it on November 12 with a brilliant tribute to Leonard Cohen who died that week with Kate McKinnon’s mournful singing of “Hallelujah.” There’s a multitude of things the exegesis of that song could include, but the phrase that refuses to let go of me is “Love is not a victory march; it’s a cold and broken Hallelujah.” At the end of the song McKinnon, speaking both for herself and the character she portrayed during the election campaign, looked into the camera and said, “I’m not done fighting and neither should you.”

Perhaps like Mark Twain the reports of Truth’s demise are greatly exaggerated. As a pastor I said all the right words during the Advent season about hope, and light shining in the darkness, even as my heart was breaking for my country and for those who were so blinded by their fear and anger that they watched Truth die and didn’t raise a finger to help.

The Gospel of John (8:31-32) addresses Truth this way: “Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, “If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” Truth will set you free? Free from what, sin? Free from false religiosity? If we read further in that chapter we find that Jesus leaves the temple at the end of John 8 – not just physically but spiritually. He shakes the dust off his feet and walks away from liars who cannot handle the truth of his Messiahship.

There’s been a lot of talk in the political arena about conflict of interests, and it’s a bipartisan issue. It includes not only the President Elect and his cabinet nominees, questions about the Clinton Foundation, and a Democratic Governor Elect, Jim Justice, the richest man in the state with deep investments in the coal and gas industry just to name a few. But there is also a huge issue of conflicts of interest for clergy and other faith leaders. We are called to perform both priestly and pastoral functions, to do the impossible job of simultaneously comforting the afflicted while afflicting the comfortable with words and actions that speak truth to ecclesiastical and secular power in the name of God’s reign of justice. In some situations speaking truth may set a faith leader free from a paycheck, a parsonage, and a pension or even from life itself. The reason that calls to ministry require such courage and faith are seen comfortably from a distance in the early Christian martyrs, but when more recent prophets like Martin Luther King Jr. and Dietrich Bonhoeffer come to mind the cost of discipleship and truth become much more challenging. We don’t like to be reminded that the same word in Greek is translated as both “witness” and “martyr.” As we celebrate his birthday this weekend there is no more fitting or powerful tribute to the power of Truth than Dr. King’s “Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last.”

I also find hope for Truth in the young. We often hear Isaiah’s words at Christmas that “a little child shall lead them” and apply them to Jesus. But there’s another child in the Christmas story, and without her courage and faith the story would be drastically different. Mary the mother of Jesus was just a teen when she accepted God’s outlandish news about her impending pregnancy. And once the unbelievable news is confirmed by the witness of her kinswoman Elizabeth, it is in the mouth of this innocent youth that Luke puts the powerful words of truth we have come to know as the Magnificat: “God has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts. He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly; he has filled the hungry with good things, and sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, according to the promise he made to our ancestors, to Abraham and to his descendants forever.” (Luke 1:51-55)

That is Truth, and it is ignored at great peril by those in power who fail to heed its warning. It is ignored at great peril by Christians who focus their attention only on the cross and resurrection and ignore the prophetic teachings and actions of Jesus that got him crucified.

Everyone knows churches are packed on Christmas and Easter and much less so the other 50 Sundays of the year. That is unfortunate for many reasons, but the one that bothers me the most is that C & E Christians miss out on the whole truth of the Gospel that can truly set us free from the idolatries of worldly materialism and the refusal to face the truth of our individual and corporate sins. People who hear only the stories of Easter and Christmas either consciously or not skip the passion and just show up for the resurrection – celebrate the birth of sweet little Jesus boy, and then drop out for the rest of the story about the slaughter of innocents, and the flight into Egypt to avoid the assassins of truth. (Read or reread the rest of the Christmas story in Matthew 2:7-18.)
And it’s not just an old story but one that is as relevant as today’s headlines. The Magi today would show up at Trump Tower, and God knows we don’t need more gold there. We worship false gods of power like those of King Herod when we threaten to restart the nuclear arms race. Sure making more weapons of death is good for Wall Street, but at what cost? Over 50 years ago a Republican President and World War II hero warned us about the death-dealing military-industrial complex: “In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.” Dwight D. Eisenhower.

It’s not easy but we must search hard for hope in the ashes of Truth’s funeral pyre. When I look hard enough I see a few embers still glowing in the rubble – young colleagues and elders still willing to fight for truth at all costs. Too often it seems to me that liberal Christians are hamstrung by our sense of ethics. The religious right has no scruples about broadcasting a false prosperity gospel of hate and fear, but when truth tellers walk the fine line of non-partisanship we contribute by omission to the death of Truth itself. We are not free. Perhaps it’s time to give up our tax-free status as non-profits in order to be prophets of truth?

I am still hopeful that a renewed and stronger prophetic voice will be awakened by the rattling of nukes and the building of divisive walls. The great hymn’s words are truer than ever, “O young and fearless prophet, we need your presence here.” And some old prophets too that are set free by no longer having conflicts of interests that silence our voices.

Cohen’s lyrics about a “cold and broken hallelujah” sound forlorn if we focus only on the “cold and brokenness” around us, but they are not the final word. Even as we acknowledge the brokenness of our lives and our world, the final word, the refrain is still HALLELUJAH, praise to God from the depths to give us wisdom and courage for the living of these days. Truth will survive if those who can handle it dare to proclaim it even when and especially when we feel cold and broken.

Good riddance 2016, and praise God for a new year full of promise to those who refuse to bow the knee to Herod.